Yikes.

Well the "parallels" turned into "para-hells", as our efforts to make up and move forward never materialized. In fact, I feel in some ways it ended up worse.

Take last Wednesday night, for example.

I came home from work, she was there sitting at the table with Isaiah. He was chattering about some new invention he was sure would work, while she was typing on her computer. I came in and kissed them both and asked if they were hungry. She said "yes", he said "no". I suggested I would wait half an hour before I started cooking, to which they both agreed.

I was making my falafel pitas with rice pilaf, hummus, and cucumber sauce. I had specifically bought leaf lettuce and extra tomatoes for her because the last time she bitched about me not having them. It was a good idea.

Earlier in the day, she had made sure to mention to me twice that she was overdrawn on her bank account. Not that this is my responsibility, mind you-- she is an adult and still lives in Arizona apart from us. We're just trying to see if we can get along, not if I can be superman and save her from all of life's little ills (and go bankrupt in the process). As I'm standing there cooking dinner and she mentions it again, I ask her to write down for me on paper the numbers so I can look at it later and see if I can budget it in to help her out.

"Would you go get a bottle of wine" she says.

"I'm cooking right now".

"I'll finish cooking, you go get some wine".

"Well, I'm not buying wine right now-- plus, you just said you needed help with your bank situation, so the $20 should go toward that."

She asked me several more times, getting angrier with each asking. I explained to her that I have financial goals in place, I've already done the shopping for the week, and it doesn't make sense to spend good money on wine while she is so broke that she has to ask for help... besides, we don't need wine to have a good time.

She got all mad and called me a "jerk" and said that she wasn't going to write down those numbers because she isn't good at that (she's 39), and that she is having a panic attack and needs the wine. She's begging now and saying that she will get some wine one way or another, whether it's with me or someone else. I suggest she go out for a walk, or go to the other room and read a book, or lie down... just do something to calm down and relax. She said she would go do yoga, but I would have to give her $30 to do that (crazy).

At this point I'm getting upset and I tell her to either put a lid on it or get out. I was letting her borrow one of my cars. Then she tells me that she has no money for gas, so that if the car runs out then she is going to leave it where it is on the side of the road and I would have to come find it. So I tell her she isn't taking my car, and I stand firm about it. I had to threaten her with reporting it stolen if she takes it.

She is boiling mad. Calling names.

My son is there, and he is begging her to stop it and she is just getting worse. I feel sorry for him. She says I need to take her to Golden or she won't leave. He and I eat dinner (she won't eat) and we get in the truck to take her over there... it's about a thirty-minute trip. She sat in the back seat with our son and he was trying to get her to watch a Scooby Doo movie with him on his little DVD player, but every few minutes she would say something nasty to me again.

Finally we got her there and let her out. On the way back, I told him that I would watch a Scooby Doo with him when we got home, but he said "No, I'm going to sit here and watch it quietly on the way back, and in some ways it will feel like my Mommy is here and just being nice".

Bitch.

-Ox.

Parallels

Thanksgiving week. This is where it all began in 1999, where it all changed in 2000, and where it all has started anew here in 2008.

Back in November, 1999 I sighed a deep breath and let go the butterflies as I packed up and moved north permanently from Phoenix to be with a girl I had met just one month earlier in Denver on a business trip. I considered abandoning these plans several times, but for the first time in my life I decided to buck up, to not be afraid of fate, and stick with my promises.

We didn't last long, but long enough for her to become pregnant. November 2000 and he was born, forever to change my life for the better. It wasn't easy, though. His mom and I fought like cats and dogs, battled in and out of court, until finally I "won" (everybody loses in these messes when children are involved) and she moved out-of-state to Phoenix of all places.

November 2008 brings up back around full-circle. I made the offer for her to come back and try us again. Nine years older, nine years more mature, and nine years wiser-- hopefully on both sides. So she is here for a few days and spending the nights with me. So far, so good and the boy couldn't be happier. You can just tell by the little extra spring in his step, the twinkle in his eyes.

I'm hopeful that we can get over ourselves this time and have it work. I guess we'll see.

Happy Thanksgiving.

-Ox.

Pure-Rest Organics -- yikes.

So a saga that's been ongoing since June (June!) has now come to a close.

This aforementioned saga involves a mattress purchase from a company called Pure-Rest Organics ( http://www.purerest.com ), a manufacturer and seller of organic mattresses.

Why an organic mattress in the first place, you might ask. My son is almost eight years old now, and has been sleeping on an el cheap-o Wal-Mart mattress since he was born. I had no idea how toxic these things were with all the fire retardants and other chemicals they are sprayed down with. As I read more and more about these products (conventional mattresses), the more I feel guilty of not ever having known about organic mattresses sooner. Not that anything's wrong with him, but guilty, guilty, guilty.

So I set out to buy him an organic mattress. And one for me, too.

In June I called Pure-Rest for price quotes. Their mattresses are hella expensive. Hella. Way hella. Some are like $5000 and I am not kidding. As I started looking around, I would see other companies with cheaper organic mattresses but in my research I would find discrepancies like certain chemicals they contained that in my mind disqualified them from the "organic" name altogether. I wanted the purest organic mattresses that money could buy. I wanted Pure-Rest.

Ultimately, I found another company called Simply Organic Sleep ( http://www.simplyorganicsleep.com ) that offered very similar products for much cheaper. Same latex rubber manufacturer in Sri Lanka (Latex Green), similar mattress descriptions, etc. In further research, I found that this particular company had previously done business under other names and also that they had numerous complaints with the Better Business Bureau. This scared me a little. I would flip back and forth between their website and that of Pure-Rest.

And then I saw a little link: "We do price matching" or somesuch.

Yes! So I called Pure-Rest and after a couple of weeks waiting for call-backs was eventually put in touch with a woman named Dottie, who is the owner's mother. Dottie didn't seem too keen on price-matching though. It was like pulling teeth to get her to match the price of what Simply Organic Sleep was offering, but finally she did and the discounts were significant. I also talked her into e-mailing me the quote.

We agreed that I would purchase my son's mattress first and then if I was satisfied with the process and the quality, I would call back and order my mattress at the price quoted.

My son's mattress took forever to come, weeks and weeks and weeks. I kept calling to check on status and kept getting the runaround that Pure-Rest was moving their warehouse from Nebraska or some shit to California, and that was causing an "unexpected" delay. Finally his arrived, and it was fine. Probably the most expensive mattress for a child his age ever, but fine. Fine. Not wonderful, but fine. Fine.

Against my better judgement, I decided to call back and order my mattress now. I was three weeks before I finally got hold of Dottie again. She gave me a runaround about how rubber prices have gone up "70%" since the original quote. She wanted to go through the whole price matching process again, and I was getting pissed. She told me she would have to call me back and didn't. I would call back and ask for her, and they would say Dottie was busy. Some new girl there wanted to help me and wanted to take my order, but she couldn't answer any of my technical questions about the mattress and was getting frustrated and finally indicated that she would have Ginny, the owner, to give me a call.

Ginny called me to discuss. She was nice. This was in contrast with Dottie, who reminded me of a car salesman. I didn't fully trust Ginny though either after she proceeded to give me a price quote that was $1000 more than Dottie had given me. I brought this up and she lowered the price by another $500 and told me it was their best deal ever. I again pointed out that this was $500 more than I was quoted and sent her a copy of the e-mails from Dottie. I'm not sure why I had to do this, because the previous customer service person had my price quote right on her screen.

While she waited for my e-mails, Ginny and I chatted a bit. She discussed a divorce she was going through, and the move of their warehouse, and the rising costs of rubber, and the fly-by-night companies in the organic mattress industry that are buying up inventory on credit and then going out of business and leaving the manufacturers with the bill.

When she got my e-mails, I could tell she didn't know what to say about the price. I had a feeling she was going to stop cold on the price quote she had already given, so I asked her would she just split the difference with me between what she had quoted and what her mom had quoted. This meant I would pay $250 more than I had originally planned, but I wanted the mattress and it was a good discount they were giving me, and probably a part of me felt sorry for her and didn't want to be a dick about it.

She agreed, and said they would have my mattress to me that next week.

Next week came, and no mattress. Then another. Then another. I called back several times to get status and was given all kinds of excuses why they hadn't sent it yet. Finally it did arrive about a week ago. Today is the middle of November.

It was supposed to be assembled when it arrived, but it wasn't. I had specifically talked with Ginny about this. This mattress, too, is just fine. Not amazingly wonderful as I had always pictured in my mind. Not amazingly comfortable. Just fine.

Today I look at Pure-Rest's website and there is the following information message (below) on their front page, so now I wonder if what we got was even organic at all or instead one of these ones that were sprayed down with fire retardants. My advice is to just stay away from this company altogether.

-Ox.


From http://www.purerest.com November 15, 2008:

NOTE FRAUD WATCH: There are a couple of fraudulent companies out there. There are a few that are a bit less pure but 2 that we have found that are absolutely lying about the purity of their mattresses.

The first is THE NATURAL BED STORE. We had carried their mattresses and we have emails where they admitted (after a customer complained) that they had mistakenly sent one with chemically treated FR fabric in it. Then when they were to replace it, they did so with another one with chemicals. They sent emails admitting this to me so I have proof. They sent 4 to us with chemicals, and 5 to my customers. So we now have all these chemical mattresses (we did take returns ourselves as we always protect the consumer) and THE NATURAL BED STORE refused to pay us for them and take them back. We will not sell any mattress with chemicals, and it is so wrong to deceive people trying to get healthy by being a dishonest manufacturer.

The other is Live for Tomorrow. I do believe they have filed bankruptcy yet again and may pop up under another name. They were Pure Slumber and have stolen from each major organic mattress manufacturer out there. Just be careful. Make sure you get test results on materials from the mattress company if you want total purity. If you are concerned about whether the company is legitimate, just make sure they themselves and the manufacturer of the mattresses have been in business for at least 5 years.

There are quite a few natural mattress manufacturers that are honest, look for them. We have proven ourselves with our extensive testing of ALL our raw materials. This guarantees purity. Any questions, just call us.

Xbox 360 Repair Sucks Ass.

My beloved Xbox 360 died this week.

It froze up while listening to a music CD, with funky graphics artifacts all over the screen. I figured, oh a reboot will fix it.

So I rebooted.

Next it froze up again while playing Blue Dragon early one morning. Same symptoms. Then I tried playing another music CD later that evening... froze again. Then it would freeze sometimes while booting.

Today my son was stoked to watch a copy of Goosebumps we bought last night at Target. Halloween is on it's way.

Froze up.

I called Xbox repair and, unlike the last time I called them several months ago, a foreigner girl answered the line. She proceeded to ask me all my personal info. I casually asked "Where are you?" to which she replied "I cannot tell you that, Microsoft won't allow us to disclose that information". So, umm, how do I know this girl isn't in China and going to sell all my personal info when we get off the phone.

She thought it was funny the whole thing, you could tell.

"Sorry, I can't give you that information" I told her. It seemed we were at an impasse, so I asked to speak with a manager there. At first she tried to deflect my request, but then she relented and another foreigner by the name of "Drew" came on the line. He said he was a supervisor.

Drew gave the same hat and dance routine, that he wasn't allowed to tell what country he is in. He tried to convince me to proceed with giving my personal ID type stuff by saying what does it matter which country he is in, they are all Microsoft employees any way.

I disagreed.

He kept insisting he was a Microsoft employee until I told him I was recording the conversation to send into Microsoft along with my complaint. Then his story changed and he started using phraseology such as "We are under Microsoft's policy" and "We are part of Microsoft's Xbox support team". I pointed out that I bet Microsoft isn't on his paycheck, and he admitted he wasn't a Microsoft employee.

So we said our goodbyes.

He refused to have an American person call me back. He refused to tell me what country he was operating out of. He threw his hands up in the air over everything. Every other word was "can't". I hate that word. Usually it is misused in place of "won't".

So I go to the Xbox website and enter an e-mail complaint. I received a reply from someone ostensibly named Melissa. I say ostensibly because it's very possible she was in the Phillippines or wherever too, since they always call themselves by some fake common American name. As if.

Anyway, Melissa says in this e-mail to "please accept our apologies for the unsatisfactory resolution" and then goes on to say that "unfortunately, our support team will not be able to assist you further through email" and that I should call support. I was e-mailing to report my unhappiness with calling support, and she said to call support.

Am I the only one who sees the madness in that?

So I called back support. First some other foreigner guy answers, and I can tell he's reading the notes with some sort of conviction. He asks me to kindly verify all my personal info. Fuck it, I just want my Xbox fixed at this point-- so I oblige. I didn't complain or bring up any of the issues I have with this, just kindly oblige. The moment I verify the last piece of personal info, the motherfucker hangs up on me.

So, I call back.

I call back and get another foreign dude named "Paul" (cough). Paul is at least kind enough though to see me through the whole order to get the Xbox replaced. He seems competent. The only weird thing was that he said I had to have my own box to send my Xbox in and that the shipping label would arrive by e-mail within 48 hours.

I swear, if the address to ship this thing is some foreign country I'm just going to buy a PS3.

Fuck this shit.

-Ox.

Football: West Virginia University at Colorado University, 09/18/08

I am a huge West Virginia University football fan. I don't miss a game on television ever, but I haven't been to one in person since I was a student there back in the mid 1990s.

Until last night.

My son, bless him, he is seven years old and a big Colorado University football fan. He was born here, he says, so logically he should cheer for them. He loves nothing more than to rub it in my face when my team loses, and to cheer when his wins. He went with me last night and had a blast. It was the perfect storm: his favorite team, my favorite team, his first college football game ever, and my first in over a decade-- and all right here in Boulder, Colorado. When would that ever happen again?

$102 per ticket, and I bought four of them.

I had originally intended to take Cindy and her son with me, but after I recently called for an end to our relationship I didn't feel it was appropriate (even though she would have still gone). Part of me felt rotten about that, but not so much. Amanda and her brother were then going to come instead but she canceled last week, ostensibly due to work obligations. However, I think the end result was much better: I took Matt (my friend and manager at work) and my new friend Elena. I could see myself liking Elena a lot, but it is true that we are still new and I should try to take things slowly and get to know her. I'm glad she came, though.


My thoughts on the game and West Virginia's program:

* The Mountaineers played much better in this game than the trouncing at East Carolina last week, which is a positive. It sucks that we took another hit in the L column, but I believe we may be turning the corner now.

* I didn't understand why coach Bill Stewart and his staff decided to make so many off-season changes to the West Virginia offense, but I think they are realizing that and trying to get back to what this particular unit does best. Taking a recipe for success and throwing it away made no sense to me.

* Pat White would be considered an awesome passer if he had any receivers that want to catch. If a ball hits a receiver in the hands and the ball is dropped, that receiver isn't doing his job. At all. Everyone is going to stack against the run unless we can get some downfield catches going on.

* The offensive line is soft. They got pushed around badly last week, and now here at Colorado they never got a jump on the defense when all we needed were inches. This is going to kill us if it isn't fixed fast, and has already lost us two games.

* The defense played much better in the second half. Kudos for the adjustments that were made.


I'm a CU fan as well (just not in this one game, hah). Dan Hawkins is clearly turning this program around for the better and I see Big 12 championships in the near future. The CU student section was loud, impressive, and well-coordinated.

My son ran for a long touchdown in his flag football league game on Tuesday night and thought that was the best thing ever. In the end, when everyone erupted in cheers and rushed the field at the CU game, he saw for the first time the glories of big-time success. Hopefully it will leave a taste in his mouth that he needs to whet often for the rest of his future, whether it's in football or whatever else he chooses to pursue.

--------------

In other news:

* Cindy has been e-mailing me at work the last couple of days, but I have been ignoring. I really don't want to restart talks with her. I'm so done with it.

* Amanda flipped out on me when I told her I was seeing someone (Elena), and hasn't spoken since. It's interesting how quickly the veil of 'friendship' was torn to shreds.

* Teresa is breaking Isaiah's little heart. I wish she would move back here and be a mother to him, but her sole motivation appears to be money and having her fun. It's going to devastate him when he finally realizes that she doesn't care for him at all. :(

-Ox.

Here again.

Why am I blogging again. It wasn't a question so much as a protest, or maybe a whine. Maybe I'm doing it because I think "she" might someday look here again.

A lot has happened in the last several weeks. No one will see this.

First of all, I had to let a friend go. She was getting on my last nerve with wanting to have sex with me, and I had zero attraction to her at all. The pouting, the crying-- it really got to me. I can be pretty picky about whom I want to be with in that way. It clearly wasn't her.

Cindy tried to guilt trip me about abandoning our friendship in any way she could, even pulling out the child card and saying her kid was now having trouble in school because of me. The fact is, her kid is a good reader with nothing else going for him but social problems. It has to do with his tantrums and wicked little fits. You'd think she would be thankful or something for my teaching him how to swim, how to ride a bicycle, how to make friends, how to catch and throw a ball-- basically how to function as a seven-year-old boy who has been babied so much his entire life that he cries if rain gets him wet. Hell, even his father is getting back into his life because of me.

Anyway.

So "she" waltzed into the office one day. I saw her right when she got off the elevator. My job requires that I had (inaccurate operator right there) to give her computer training the very next day. I wore my dark brown shirt, the one that contrasts nicely with the blue eyes and brings out the color in my hair-- not my words, obviously. I didn't realize the bait had actually set until about a week later when she was flirting pretty heavily. The next two weeks were fraught with sexy texts, sexy pics, and sexy phone calls.

But a funny thing happened.

She said no. I wanted to kiss her while she was looking so fine sitting on my living room floor. But that cheek turned, and I was devastated inside. Yes, I already knew she didn't want to have a relationship with me. She's 25, and unattached, and single. Clearly, I have a kid. But I thought for sure she was attracted to me in that way. Yes, in "that way".

I've spent the last two weeks trying to figure out what the fuck she wants with me. She feigns upset when I don't ask her over for a few days, or ask her to lunch, or say goodbye before I leave the office. I ask her over and she says no, or says yes and then cancels. I give her grief over the nature of our (cough) relationship-- I hate that fucking word sometimes-- and she will call and fight profusely to keep me on the string. I still don't get it.

Or her.

So I met another girl. She is probably more my type. Just about the same age as "her", also hella good looking, but not afraid to go for the goods. She's an investment manager or something. We met for lunch and I swear we sat in the truck for two hours after and talked. And kissed. She reached over and unzipped my jeans, and went right down. I gotta say, it was a nice departure from all this cat and mouse shit. And right there in the fucking parking lot.

I just want to make sure you aren't going to get upset when I see other people, "she" said. The thing is, I probably would have. Not at her, but at myself. I liked her style, her wit, those eyes, her ass. I've found myself getting hit on a lot lately for some reason, and found myself saying "no" nearly just as much. I thought "she" was someone I would have a long, passionate type of friendship with, the kind of friends everyone ought to have once in their life.

So here I am again, trying to sort this stuff out... maybe just make notes about what is happening in my life.

-Ox.

ESPN's "bonus coverage" is bullshit.

So here I sat, happily watching the West Virginia vs. Connecticut football game on CBS. Both the Big East title and West Virginia's national title hopes are at stake. So what does ESPN do? They cut away from the game in the 3rd quarter for "bonus coverage" of a Georgia vs. Georgia Tech game that means nothing.

If I was watching the West Virginia vs. Connecticut game, how in the holiest of hells do you (ESPN) think that I want to watch two other teams instead? Don't you (ESPN) realize that I and a million other people schedule time out of our lives to watch this game, and we don't want to watch something else??

I think ESPN has become a bit monopolistic. You watch games on their network or you watch their feeds on other networks. What else is there? It's not like I have a choice to go take my college football viewing money elsewhere. Clearly, I'm not happy missing my game. It's not the first time, either.

Fuck you, ESPN.

-Ox.