Yikes.

Well the "parallels" turned into "para-hells", as our efforts to make up and move forward never materialized. In fact, I feel in some ways it ended up worse.

Take last Wednesday night, for example.

I came home from work, she was there sitting at the table with Isaiah. He was chattering about some new invention he was sure would work, while she was typing on her computer. I came in and kissed them both and asked if they were hungry. She said "yes", he said "no". I suggested I would wait half an hour before I started cooking, to which they both agreed.

I was making my falafel pitas with rice pilaf, hummus, and cucumber sauce. I had specifically bought leaf lettuce and extra tomatoes for her because the last time she bitched about me not having them. It was a good idea.

Earlier in the day, she had made sure to mention to me twice that she was overdrawn on her bank account. Not that this is my responsibility, mind you-- she is an adult and still lives in Arizona apart from us. We're just trying to see if we can get along, not if I can be superman and save her from all of life's little ills (and go bankrupt in the process). As I'm standing there cooking dinner and she mentions it again, I ask her to write down for me on paper the numbers so I can look at it later and see if I can budget it in to help her out.

"Would you go get a bottle of wine" she says.

"I'm cooking right now".

"I'll finish cooking, you go get some wine".

"Well, I'm not buying wine right now-- plus, you just said you needed help with your bank situation, so the $20 should go toward that."

She asked me several more times, getting angrier with each asking. I explained to her that I have financial goals in place, I've already done the shopping for the week, and it doesn't make sense to spend good money on wine while she is so broke that she has to ask for help... besides, we don't need wine to have a good time.

She got all mad and called me a "jerk" and said that she wasn't going to write down those numbers because she isn't good at that (she's 39), and that she is having a panic attack and needs the wine. She's begging now and saying that she will get some wine one way or another, whether it's with me or someone else. I suggest she go out for a walk, or go to the other room and read a book, or lie down... just do something to calm down and relax. She said she would go do yoga, but I would have to give her $30 to do that (crazy).

At this point I'm getting upset and I tell her to either put a lid on it or get out. I was letting her borrow one of my cars. Then she tells me that she has no money for gas, so that if the car runs out then she is going to leave it where it is on the side of the road and I would have to come find it. So I tell her she isn't taking my car, and I stand firm about it. I had to threaten her with reporting it stolen if she takes it.

She is boiling mad. Calling names.

My son is there, and he is begging her to stop it and she is just getting worse. I feel sorry for him. She says I need to take her to Golden or she won't leave. He and I eat dinner (she won't eat) and we get in the truck to take her over there... it's about a thirty-minute trip. She sat in the back seat with our son and he was trying to get her to watch a Scooby Doo movie with him on his little DVD player, but every few minutes she would say something nasty to me again.

Finally we got her there and let her out. On the way back, I told him that I would watch a Scooby Doo with him when we got home, but he said "No, I'm going to sit here and watch it quietly on the way back, and in some ways it will feel like my Mommy is here and just being nice".

Bitch.

-Ox.