Review: The Amityville Horror (2005).

I went to see The Amityville Horror movie alone the other night. I had seen that the running time was only eighty-nine minutes, so I wasn't sure if it would even be worth the price of a ticket for something seemingly so short-- I usually feel two hours at least is necessary to tell a good story. Let me say this: less than an hour into, I was so scared that I wasn't really sure I even wanted to stay for the rest of it.

This movie is probably the creepiest and most disturbing film I've ever seen-- and I was a kid who feasted on the most grotesque thrillers I could set my eyes on. I had seen the original Amityville film when I was much younger, and I don't recall being so frightened. Maybe it was the big-screen effect, I don't know, but I definitely would not let a teenager under eighteen go see this.

The movie opens up with a young adult named Ronnie hearing voices inside the house, then taking a shotgun and killing his parents and siblings. His little sister hid in a closet while he slaughtered the rest of the family, but he found her too. She looks up sadly at him saying "What's wrong, Ronnie?", right before he coldly blows her brains out. Not imagery I'd want a teen of mine seeing.

Years later another family moves into the house with the knowledge of the crimes that had been committed there, as they couldn't resist its bargain price. Before long the house has a major effect on them and infighting begins. The (step)father turns into an abusive monster of a man, issuing his own brand of discipline especially on the kids. The mother wants to leave, but he tells her emphatically that they are staying, that it was her idea to move in.

The movie starts to get really scary when the family begins seeing things and the young daughter is found in a series of extremely dangerous predicaments. As things start getting more and more out of hand, the mother brings in a Catholic priest who soon ends up running out of the house and driving away as fast as humanly possible. She does some research and learns the house has a horrid history, while her husband finds out the same in a much worse way. The mother's struggle to get her family out alive and intact is the driving force behind the end of the movie.

I thought this movie was done really well. There were comical moments, not overdone, at just the right moments, the scary stuff was really scary, and the acting was actually quite good. Part of me wishes the near-ending when the man and his wife were finding out more about the secrets of the house's history would have been drawn out further, but I'm honestly not sure how much longer I could've taken it. There was one silly thing that kept irritating me throughout, and that's why the mother kept going into town and leaving the kids there alone with her ill husband-- why didn't she take them with her?

Recommended?: YES, but only for courageous 18+ fans of the genre

Score: 8 Oxes.

-Ox.

Review: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I went and saw the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie last night with my son, my ex-girlfriend (read: my son's mother), and her other son. I read the book series sometime between sixth and eighth grades, which was about twenty years ago. I still fondly remember some things from the books, but I'm not a rabid expert at this point so I won't concentrate on what was/wasn't left out of the books in the making of the movie.

I've read other reviews that painted a less-than-enthusiastic picture, anything from the sets being "elaborately absurd" to the film being overly "uneven". For the most part, I liked it. We went to the 7:30 pm show and, despite the movie being nearly two hours in length and not a cartoon, my four-year-old son stayed awake and interested throughout the entire thing. He was cracking up laughing during some scenes.

I was surprised at how much I remembered. When the Vogon poetry was being read, I actually still knew the words-- "O freddled gruntbuggly...". Back in school, we used to recite this little passage to each other on a daily basis and I had completely forgotten about it. So there were some nostalgic moments for me to which most others in the crowd were probably indifferent. I thought the whole "Always carry a towel" concept was vastly underdone in the movie, though.

Ford Prefect was-- well-- perfect; he was precisely what I had imagined when I read the books. Zaphod Beeblebrox was obviously doing a George Bush impression throughout, and it fit quite well. Arthur Dent seemed kinda flat to me, but not in the intentional way you might be imagining-- maybe just underdeveloped. The Vogons were rendered very well. Probably just me, but I couldn't stand Marvin's voice and I am definitely not a Zooey Deschanel fan, who played Trillian.

For those who aren't familiar, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is an improbable romp through the universe, which began with the demolition of Earth. Arthur Dent was plucked from the doomed planet by his best friend and alien-in-disguise Ford Prefect, whose life he had himself saved years earlier. They hitch a ride on a hostile spaceship, are ejected into space, and then saved by another friendlier, stolen one operated by Arthur's girlfriend and the President of the Galaxy. The President, Zaphod Beeblebrox, is in search of The Ultimate Question and takes them on a journey to get it.

In the end, I thought the movie was very entertaining but probably should've been longer to fit everything in appropriately. My ex-girlfriend said it was "OK", but she liked the book series much better. Her nine-year-old son was inspired enough to say he's going to get the first book at the library this week. Our four-year-old son liked it a lot, and was full of questions both throughout the movie and afterwards.

Recommended?: YES

Score: 7 Oxes.

-Ox.